Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize