oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This is my gift to your gina
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
