"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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