girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize