im drinking this country out of the recession.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
