You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Congratulations! We have a period
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