I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
