We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
