THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
