I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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