I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
