The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
