; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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