OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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