Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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