i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
