This show inspires me to have sex in space
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
