My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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