worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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