Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
