jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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