Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
