At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
