Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
