Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
