So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
