I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
