Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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