What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
