We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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