a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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