so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
