Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
