I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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