Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
