Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
