i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
