It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
