Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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