let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
