I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
