My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
