i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
