so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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