LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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