Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
