yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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