hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
