I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
