Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
