She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
