I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
