so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
