You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
