No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
