there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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